Space & Grace
I wanted to share a pearl with you. If you haven't learned this about me yet, I love words and stories, and the lessons they hold. I come from a line of storytellers. I can’t remember a visit to my grandparents that did not end with all of us sitting around my dad and my grandfather telling tales that appeared to get louder and crazier the closer to my bedtime it became. I realized when I started public speaking, I found myself teaching by telling a story. It’s how I learn; it’s how I teach.
Yesterday I had a conversation with a friend. She has known me a long time, and has watched me grow as a person. Translation: she has known me at my worst. She has seen the not so wonderful side of Sasha; and she has seen me growing and changing.
She shared with me how something I did in the recent past really hurt her. Deep down I knew this was likely the case, but I had attempted to carry on by ignoring it. I mean, who likes conflict?
It was not fun to hear. Yet instantly, I was so glad she shared her feelings with me, for many reasons. First, it means she cares about me and values our friendship. Second, her grace and truth is helping me become a better person with more depth and understanding of my actions. What more could you want in a friend?
When I was young my mother quoted a verse to me all the time. She would say, "Clothe yourself in humility, Sasha."
Moms are often right, aren't they?
We are human beings and we all have weaknesses. Humility isn't "shyness" or staying quiet. Humility is knowing and admitting your weaknesses: strength is being #braveenough to change them.
I encourage you to put yourself around others who will stretch you and humble you and encourage you and inspired you. If people around you tell you only what you want to hear, are they really your friends? By her being honest, and by me listening, my friend fixed a little chink in my armor and I hope I pulled out a little barb in her heart. It’s called grace.
Last night I was talking to my oldest son about one of his classmates who was suspended from school. I asked him if he had returned and how things were going. He told me "Well, he's basically an outcast now." Before I could respond, he said: "But mom, I'm still talking to him, even though no one else is. He is a nice person mom, he just made a really bad decision."
I don't even think I need to say more. My 13-year-old son just rocked out grace in two sentences.
I'm not belittling the poor choice. I'm stating this: at some point, if you haven't already, you will be suspended. And you will need grace. Before you go judging others, or jumping on the negative bandwagon, stop and ask yourself why you're going to judge someone or post a rude comment or say a contrarian sarcastic remark. I just want to challenge you...give grace. And if you can’t give grace, give space.