Advice To My Younger Self
Feb 21, 2025
As a woman in medicine, where the odds for pay, promotion, and leadership are stacked against me, I strive to light the path for younger women who come behind me.
It has taken me a while to be comfortable with my style of leadership, own my own voice, be able to regroup after rejection, and tolerate feeling on display and yet often invisible.
I wish I’d had a guide when I stepped into my role as a young woman in medicine. So, I thought I would share with you the things I would tell myself if I could go back.
1. Rejection Doesn’t Mean No. It Just Means No For Now
If I had a list of all the papers, proposals, and grants I’ve had rejected, it would far overshadow any list of my accomplishments. But here’s the thing: every rejection taught me something. Each “no” made me more decisive, more resilient, and more innovative.
I had to dig deeper than others who were chosen. And often times, this forced me to look outside the box and helped me build strong collaborative ties nationally and outside of my specialty. I learned to tell myself that no didn’t mean no forever... Just no for now.
2. You Will Be Called Emotional. Be Yourself Anyway
As a woman, when you are passionate about an idea, or you are determined to have your voice heard, you will be called emotional, or overreactive. It’s ok. Be yourself anyway.
I can honestly say I have ZERO regrets about each time I decided to “come out of the dugout” so to speak, and voice my opinion. If anything, I regret not speaking up more. You can be the most quiet woman in the workplace on the planet, and the moment you decide to speak up, you will be judged for it. Speak your truth anyway. Respect will follow.
3. It’s Normal To Have Moments When You Want To Quit
As a woman in medicine, you will have to work hard to be noticed, stay calmer to avoid being labeled, and have a smaller margin of error. When you make mistakes, they will likely be amplified. You will tire. There are times you will want to step back and not advance anymore. You will grow weary when passed over for things and you may want to throw in the towel.
It’s ok to be tired. It is ok to retreat back to base camp. Take time. Recover, renew yourself, and then charge back into the chaos.
4. Don’t Walk Alone
You need others who accept you as you are. Remember to nurture relationships with a few good men and women who will bolster your spirits, give you honest feedback, and encourage you to keep going.
Find your tribe. I can’t tell you how many times I have wanted to throw in the towel and a colleague has sensed my retreat or burnout and given me space and encouragement to keep going. Cultivate those relationships. Needing others is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign of strength.
5. Don’t Let Others Define You. You Define Yourself
As a woman, there will never be a shortage of people around you telling you what should do, and who you should be. You will be given advice, some good and some bad. You will be pushed down paths and through doors you may or may not be interested in.
Stand up for your own passion, your own dreams, and your own ambitions. Define yourself.
Only you are truly capable of it. Listen to your own voice. Let it be the strongest one you hear.
If you need an atta girl, or a high five, reach out.
I got your back.
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